The Sex Contract: Every Couple Has One!

Did you know that all couples have a sex contract? The sex contract may be openly negotiated and settled, or it may be entirely secret from both partners.

What is a sex contract? A sex contract is an agreement between two partners about how sex is going to happen.

What’s in a Sex Contract?

Contract items include who is going to initiate sex, how often the couple will have sex, what types of sex acts will occur, and what will happen after sex. The contract might also include small details, porno such as whether eyes will be open or closed, room lit or dark, music on or off, and even whether lube and toys will be used.

Two Different Couples, Two Different Sex Contracts

Let’s take a look at two different couples, their sex contracts, and their sex lives, shall we?

Wendy and Lee’s Sex Contract

Wendy and Lee have never openly discussed their sex contract, which has been the same for several years:

We will have sex once a week, rain or shine.

We will always brush our teeth and shower before sex.

We will keep lube by the bed but we try not to need it.

For about every three times we have sex in the missionary position, we will have sex about once with Wendy on top.

If Wendy doesn’t have an orgasm  webcam babes during intercourse, Wendy will use a vibrator on herself for release.

We will kiss afterward, say “I love you,” and go to sleep.

Julia and Tim’s Sex Contract

Julia and Tim openly discuss their sex contract regularly, and it evolves over time. Here is what their contract looks like now:

Julie gives Tim a clear signal that she is open to initiation and Tim does so, unless he really is not in the mood. If that is the case, he tells Julie and assures her that he will initiate as soon as he is rested, relaxed, feeling better, etc.

Tim will let Julie know if he needs extra stimulation to get aroused. Julie will understand that this doesn’t mean that Tim isn’t turned on by Julie, he just wants more foreplay for himself.

Julie decides if she needs lubricant.  She can choose to use the expensive luxury brand or the cheap one she can drizzle freely.

They keep a locked toy chest under the bed. geile meisjes The key is on the nightstand. Either one of them can dangle the key to show they want to play.

Tim likes rear entry, Julie likes to face each other, so they trade off and decide what position they’d like to be in during climax.

If Julie doesn’t orgasm, then she can decide if and how she’d like to come.

Although Tim and Julie don’t have a formal agreement, they let each other know if something isn’t working and talk together to change it.

The Problem with Unspoken Sex Contracts

Both contracts are perfectly acceptable. But what if Wendy or Lee is unhappy? How would either partner know? What if one partner is afraid to say anything because the whole negotiation might break down, and sex will be off the table? How will they handle their sex life if things change, like their bodies, their turn on’s, their drives, or their sexy shemales obligations outside of the relationship?

As I write this I wonder, do you find yourself thinking that couples like Julie and Tim aren’t real? Yes, they are! There are plenty of couples that tell each other exactly what they like. How they end up in my practice is usually because something has gone wrong, like a cancer diagnosis or a misunderstanding about how sex changes as we age. Once they understand, though, they usually adapt because there is excellent communication already in place.

What’s Your Sex Contract?

Do you have a sex contract that needs to be explored? Is it time to renew the current contract, or do you need to toss it and draw up a new one? Such conversations can be tricky at first, but become easier with practice. Try negotiating one part of your sex life first. Once that is working better, negotiate for more changes.

If your sex life still is stuck in neutral, sexboer – sexfilms get help. Sex isn’t rocket science! Change is possible, but only if you are willing to go for the sex you want.

Dr. Stephanie Buehler is a nationally known psychologist and sex therapist, and Director of The Buehler Institute in Newport Beach, CA. The Buehler Institute offers sex therapy for men, women, and couples, as well as continuing education for therapists and healthcare professionals. Dr. Buehler’s newest book is What Every Mental Health Professional Needs to Know about Sex. Visit The Buehler Institute at

When sex is discussed, what comes to mind only is the pleasure that would be derived from it, the art of making a person reach orgasm or the strength needed to carry out the act. The movies and cinemas only paints a beautiful scenario about the act without porno cams telling us the negative consequences if it is done at the wrong time.

I came up with this topic after researching what would have happened if people knew what sex truly meant. There wouldn’t have been cases of STD, unwanted pregnancies, abortion or cheating. I studied the lives of great men in the Bible and our present world who have suffered from the act because of their ignorance about sex. They had their image tarnished and suffered lots of regrets.

What’s the big deal about sex? What are the things we do not know that could have saved us from regrets or pain? Patiently read through the following points I discovered below…

1. God created sex
Every invention has a purpose for which it was created. God created sex. It is beyond an urge we need to satisfy when our hormone rages. It is a sacred act. God gave man an instinct to have sex so that he can fulfill His purpose of producing godly seeds since we are made in His image. But we often make the mistake of thinking its in our power to do it anywhere, anyhow or anytime. Hence, we will be accountable for how we use it. For instance, nobody would want to harm his/her organ of sight for no good reason. Similarly, our sexual organs need to be guarded because it was created by God for our use at an appointed time – marriage.

2. Its for procreation
The sole purpose for God creating sex was for man to multiply, replenish, subdue and dominate the earth. There is no others means through which man can reproduce other than through sex. Unfortunately, many sexual encounters outside wedlock created vagabonds and illegitimate children. Abortion, unwanted pregnancy or STD were the things that would be created if sex was done outside God’s plan.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.